Quote

When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Tell
Obey
Didn
Older
Kids
Brother
Around
Gets
Used
Humor
Looking
Strollers
Funny
Frantic
Running
Twins

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You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
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I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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