Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Drop
Happens
Cat
Strap
Back
Humor
Toast
Always
Side
Toasts
Feet
Butter
Land
Lands
Sides
Cats
Animal
Comedian
More quotes by Steven Wright
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
Steven Wright
It's a fine night to have an evening.
Steven Wright
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
I had my coat hangers spayed.
Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Steven Wright
If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
Steven Wright
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Steven Wright
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh...
Steven Wright
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
Steven Wright
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
Steven Wright
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
Steven Wright
always remember your unique, just like everone else
Steven Wright