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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Firsts
First
Even
Never
Time
Killing
Love
Learned
Thought
Ever
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Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
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I can't stop thinking like this.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
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