Quote

When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Never
Wow
Like
Stage
Attention
Funny
Kids
Persons
Person
Things

More quotes by Steven Wright

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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Steven Wright
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Steven Wright
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
Steven Wright
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
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I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.
Steven Wright
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Steven Wright
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
Steven Wright
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Steven Wright
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All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
Steven Wright
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Steven Wright
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Steven Wright
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
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There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright