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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
People
Give
Using
May
Jokes
Giving
Illusion
Trying
Telling
Something
Continue
Really
Creating
Think
Imagination
Thinking
Stories
Connected
More quotes by Steven Wright
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
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I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
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Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
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I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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What do batteries run on?
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