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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Thinking
Stories
Connected
People
Give
Using
May
Jokes
Giving
Illusion
Trying
Telling
Something
Continue
Really
Creating
Think
Imagination
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
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I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
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