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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Looks
Truly
Even
Longer
Exhilarating
Years
Comedy
Casual
Like
Though
Tonight
Show
Performing
Shows
Intense
Three
Havens
Nothing
Haven
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
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I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
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Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
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I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
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I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
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If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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