Quote

I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
People
Reflection
Wear
Level
Levels
Stage
Head
Also
Blinded
Way
Hats

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
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I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven Wright
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
Steven Wright
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
Steven Wright
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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright