Quote

I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Level
Levels
Stage
Head
Also
Blinded
Way
Hats
People
Reflection
Wear

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
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I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
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The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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What do batteries run on?
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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