Quote

I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Also
Blinded
Way
Hats
People
Reflection
Wear
Level
Levels
Stage
Head

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
Steven Wright
Image
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
Image
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Steven Wright
Image
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright
Image
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
Steven Wright
Image
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
Steven Wright
Image
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
Steven Wright
Image
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
Image
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
Image
I can't stop thinking like this.
Steven Wright
Image
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Steven Wright
Image
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
Image
Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
Steven Wright
Image
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright
Image
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright
Image
I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
Steven Wright