Quote

I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Wear
Level
Levels
Stage
Head
Also
Blinded
Way
Hats
People
Reflection

More quotes by Steven Wright

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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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I washed mud off of mud.
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I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright