Quote

I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Since
Third
Creative
Thirds
Art
Drawing
Firsts
Changing
Realistically
First
Draws
Grade
Thing
Paint
Grades
Guitar
Abstract
Comedy
Draw

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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
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The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
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I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
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I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
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You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
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