Quote

I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Feels
Imagination
Much
Feeling
Grateful
Make
Gone
Bigger
Would
Living
Career
Like
Feelings
Careers
Thought
Lucky
Ever
Longer
Feel
Create

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
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I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
Steven Wright
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
Steven Wright
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
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I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
Steven Wright