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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
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Careers
Thought
Lucky
Ever
Longer
Feel
Create
Feels
Imagination
Much
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Make
Gone
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Career

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
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I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
Steven Wright
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It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Steven Wright
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I can't stop thinking like this.
Steven Wright
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
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I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright