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I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Shows
Carson
Dream
Johnny
Thought
Comics
Used
Brilliant
Every
Watches
Always
Watch
Would
Show
Night
More quotes by Steven Wright
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
Steven Wright
