Quote

I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Trying
Jokes
Things
Materials
Life
Create
Contrived
Situation
Forced
Word
Joke
Write
Concept
Live
Concepts
Writing
Material

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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Do fish get cramps after eating?
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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Do you have any toy train schedules?
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright