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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Money
Charged
Street
Tried
Streets
Guy

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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
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