Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Toys
Popular
Humor
Fun
Friends
Funny
Barbie
More quotes by Steven Wright
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
Steven Wright
always remember your unique, just like everone else
Steven Wright
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
Steven Wright
To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.
Steven Wright
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
Steven Wright
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
Steven Wright
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Steven Wright
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Steven Wright
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright