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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Fun
Friends
Funny
Barbie
Toys
Popular

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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
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You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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I washed mud off of mud.
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
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