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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Kids
Sometimes
Time
Partially
Like
Seeing
World
Eyes
Eye
White
Black

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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
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What do batteries run on?
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
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You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
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I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
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