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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Black
Kids
Sometimes
Time
Partially
Like
Seeing
World
Eyes
Eye
White

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: Do I know you?
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When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
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