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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Karaoke
Arrested
Lips

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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
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Day One: Still tired from the move.
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
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The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
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