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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Always
Classroom
Never
Laugh
Laughing
Attention
Friends
Making
Wanted
Whole

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
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I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
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If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them
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Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
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The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
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The sky already fell. Now what?
Steven Wright