Quote

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Simple
Chains
Funny
Bill
Fax
Bills
Chain
Letters
Dollar
Dollars
Letter
Humor
List
Comedy
Ties
Everybody
Lists

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
Steven Wright
Image
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Steven Wright
Image
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Steven Wright
Image
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven Wright
Image
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright
Image
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
Steven Wright
Image
My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
Steven Wright
Image
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
Image
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
Image
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
Steven Wright
Image
I can't stop thinking like this.
Steven Wright
Image
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
Image
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
Image
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Steven Wright
Image
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, Stephen, why haven't you called me? I said, I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it. He said, How long have you had it? I said, I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it.
Steven Wright
Image
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Image
I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
Steven Wright