Quote

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.

Steven Wright

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TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
List
Comedy
Ties
Everybody
Lists
Simple
Chains
Funny
Bill
Fax
Bills
Chain
Letters
Dollar
Dollars
Letter

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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
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I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
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When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
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I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
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