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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Whole
Hour
Feel
Laugh
Feels
Paid
Think
Lucky
Thinking
Laughing
People
Saying
Getting
Hours
Solidly
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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I can't stop thinking like this.
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
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