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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Book
Island
Would
Islands
Desert
Boat
Build
Asked
Bring
Someone
Stranded

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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
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Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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