Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Radio
Walking
Walks
Comedy
Announcer
Hear
Announcers
Talk
Bridge
Bridges
George
More quotes by Steven Wright
Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.
Steven Wright
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Steven Wright
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
Steven Wright
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
Steven Wright
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
Steven Wright
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
Steven Wright
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
Steven Wright
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
Steven Wright
