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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Walks
Comedy
Announcer
Hear
Announcers
Talk
Bridge
Bridges
George
Radio
Walking
More quotes by Steven Wright
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
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I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Do fish get cramps after eating?
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
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