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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Bridges
George
Radio
Walking
Walks
Comedy
Announcer
Hear
Announcers
Talk
Bridge
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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I can't stop thinking like this.
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh...
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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Do you have any toy train schedules?
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
