Quote

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Talk
Bridge
Bridges
George
Radio
Walking
Walks
Comedy
Announcer
Hear
Announcers

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
Steven Wright
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
Steven Wright
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I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
Steven Wright
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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
Steven Wright
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
Steven Wright
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
Steven Wright
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
Steven Wright
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven Wright
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
Steven Wright
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Steven Wright
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Steven Wright