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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Talk
Bridge
Bridges
George
Radio
Walking
Walks
Comedy
Announcer
Hear
Announcers
More quotes by Steven Wright
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
always remember your unique, just like everone else
Steven Wright
I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
Steven Wright
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
Steven Wright
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
