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At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Frustration
Decided
Humor
Comedy
Point
Funny
Enough
More quotes by Steven Wright
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
A fool and his money are soon partying.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.
Steven Wright
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
Steven Wright
I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
Steven Wright
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
Steven Wright
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven Wright
I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
Steven Wright
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
Steven Wright