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At one point he decided enough was enough.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Comedy
Point
Funny
Enough
Frustration
Decided
Humor

More quotes by Steven Wright

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
Steven Wright
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Steven Wright
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
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My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
Steven Wright
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
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I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh...
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
Steven Wright