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At one point he decided enough was enough.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Comedy
Point
Funny
Enough
Frustration
Decided
Humor

More quotes by Steven Wright

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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
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I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Steven Wright
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
Steven Wright
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Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.
Steven Wright
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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
Steven Wright
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
Steven Wright
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
Steven Wright
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
Steven Wright