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At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Point
Funny
Enough
Frustration
Decided
Humor
Comedy
More quotes by Steven Wright
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
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I washed mud off of mud.
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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
Steven Wright
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
Steven Wright
I can't stop thinking like this.
Steven Wright
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Steven Wright
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Steven Wright
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
Steven Wright
