Quote

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Fingers
Humor
Hand
Funny
Hands
Different
Hilarious
Witty
Humorous

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
Steven Wright
Image
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
Image
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
Image
Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
Image
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
Steven Wright
Image
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
Image
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
Steven Wright
Image
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
Image
I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
Steven Wright
Image
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
Steven Wright
Image
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Steven Wright
Image
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Image
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Image
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Steven Wright
Image
There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright