Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Book
Children
Crafts
Wrote
Humor
Books
Purpose
Funny
More quotes by Steven Wright
The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
Steven Wright
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
Steven Wright
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
Steven Wright
I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh...
Steven Wright
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
Steven Wright
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
Steven Wright
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
Steven Wright
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Steven Wright
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
Steven Wright
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Steven Wright
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright