Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Come
Speeding
Going
Pull
Think
Environmental
Thinking
Speed
Civilization
Humor
Fun
Funny
More quotes by Steven Wright
I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
Steven Wright
My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
Steven Wright
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
Steven Wright
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
Steven Wright
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Steven Wright
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
I took a baby shower.
Steven Wright
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Steven Wright
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
Steven Wright
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
Steven Wright
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
Steven Wright
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Steven Wright
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
Steven Wright
