Quote

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Way
Car
Window
Humor
Comedy
Harmonicas
Funny
Harmonica
Play
Stick
Going
Sticks
Really
Fast

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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What a nice night for an evening.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
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I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
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Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.
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My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright