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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Clothes
Humor
Slinkies
Comedy
Escalator
Wonderful
Macy
Funny
Escalators
Girl
Buying
Putting
Mets
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
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Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
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