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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Streets
Humor
Eyeglasses
Comedy
Prescription
Funny
Prescriptions
Ran
Suddenly
Street
Walking
More quotes by Steven Wright
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
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What a nice night for an evening.
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
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Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
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My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
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