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Hermits have no peer pressure.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Peers
Solitude
Pressure
Humor
Funny
Hermits
Peer

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Do fish get cramps after eating?
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
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When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
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