Quote

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Really
Wake
Letters
Humor
Comedy
Hospitality
Lasts
Stayed
Last
Letter
Funny
Hotel
Night
Sent

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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What a nice night for an evening.
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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
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Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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Do you have any toy train schedules?
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
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When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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