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It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Always
Temperature
Room
Humor
Rooms
Comedy
Funny
Doesn
Matter
More quotes by Steven Wright
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
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Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
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I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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