Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Numbers
Vegas
Long
Wheel
Men
Gambling
Odd
Wheels
Considered
Argument
Number
Roulette
More quotes by Steven Wright
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Steven Wright
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
Steven Wright
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Steven Wright
I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
Steven Wright
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
Steven Wright
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Steven Wright
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
Steven Wright
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
