Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Forests
Jokes
Laughing
Nobody
Humor
Comedy
Laughs
Funny
Forest
Tell
Joke
More quotes by Steven Wright
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
Steven Wright
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Steven Wright
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
Steven Wright
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Steven Wright
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.
Steven Wright
Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright