Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
World
Paint
Wouldn
Humor
Comedy
Small
Funny
Work
More quotes by Steven Wright
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
Steven Wright
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Steven Wright
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
Steven Wright
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Steven Wright
The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
Steven Wright
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Steven Wright
Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
Steven Wright
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, Right here, officer.
Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
