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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Would
Misspelled
Dictionary
Editing
Humor
Comedy
Word
Funny
Writing
More quotes by Steven Wright
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
Steven Wright
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
Steven Wright
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
Steven Wright
Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Steven Wright
I took a baby shower.
Steven Wright
I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.
Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
I had my coat hangers spayed.
Steven Wright
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Steven Wright
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Steven Wright
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
Steven Wright
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Steven Wright
