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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Comedy
Word
Funny
Writing
Would
Misspelled
Dictionary
Editing
Humor
More quotes by Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
Steven Wright
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Steven Wright
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Steven Wright
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
Steven Wright
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Steven Wright
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
Steven Wright
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
I had my coat hangers spayed.
Steven Wright
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Steven Wright