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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Reminisce
Reminiscing
Humor
Funny
Like
People

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Steven Wright
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I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
Steven Wright
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
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I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
Steven Wright
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I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
Steven Wright
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
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I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Steven Wright
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Steven Wright
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
Steven Wright