Quote

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Powdered
Add
Humor
Water
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Steven Wright
Image
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Steven Wright
Image
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
Image
I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
Steven Wright
Image
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
Image
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
Steven Wright
Image
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
Image
The sky already fell. Now what?
Steven Wright
Image
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
Steven Wright
Image
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
Image
I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.
Steven Wright
Image
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
Image
Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
Image
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
Image
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
Steven Wright
Image
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Steven Wright
Image
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
Image
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
Steven Wright