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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Coffee
Comedy
Break
Take
Caffeine
Employees
Breaks
Employee

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I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh...
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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