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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Cross
Crosses
Laughter
Small
Skiers
Funny
Skis
Live
Skiing
Country
Witty
Great
Humorous

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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
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Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
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You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
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What do batteries run on?
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
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