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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Live
Skiing
Country
Witty
Great
Humorous
Cross
Crosses
Laughter
Small
Skiers
Funny
Skis

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
Steven Wright
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
Steven Wright
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven Wright
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Steven Wright
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
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You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
Steven Wright
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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Steven Wright
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
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Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Steven Wright
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
Steven Wright
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
Steven Wright
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Steven Wright