Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Would
Comedy
Happen
Sponges
Wonder
Kills
Grows
Deeper
Funny
Ocean
Didn
Humor
Happens
Grow
Much
Fun
More quotes by Steven Wright
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
Steven Wright
The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Steven Wright
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Steven Wright
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
Steven Wright
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Steven Wright
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
Steven Wright
Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
Steven Wright
I had my coat hangers spayed.
Steven Wright
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Steven Wright